New Beginnings

I've decided to move on from here.

I want this blog to remain as a reminder of what Irch and I had, and I don't want to take it over as my own.

So I've created my own blog, to further vent my frustrations at moving on and trying to rebuild my life.

If you'd like to follow me you can find me at A Life Lived.

from the other side

you know one of the hardest things about this whole fucked up situation, is not only did i lose the person that i love the most in the world, but i've also lost my best friend. so when i was dumped, i didn't have the person i wanted to turn to there to help me through it, because oh wait ... he's the one who dumped me.

i know this is immature and bitter and spiteful, but after weeks of feeling like shit, and crying myself to sleep, or just not sleeping at all - i'm a bit beyond caring.

i hate that he didn't give me a chance, he didn't let me try and help or fix things, it was so out of the blue that i'm still left spinning, days and weeks later.

i'm trying to move on, to put the broken pieces of my life and heart back together, but it's a slow tedious process, and i'm finding that just when i think things are coming together again, in some sort of shaky new ground, i end up right on my ass again.

and even now, after all the crying and hurt and doubts, if he just asked i'd take him back - i just want him to want me like i want him, i want him with all the hurt and selfishness and doubt, i just want him.

i just needed to say that tonight, to get that out because i don't have anyone else to tell.

End

I've ended things with wonderful k. Rather abruptly. I've hurt her, like I've hurt her many times in the past, but this time far worse. I love her very much, always will, but I've discovered that I'm just not emotionally able to hold up a long-distance relationship, despite the bond we have shared, despite all she has sacrificed for me, and despite my own best efforts. It's my failing and it's unfair to her. It's also (in my opinion) the only path to take.

I don't want this to be any more dramatic than it has to be, so I will just say goodbye and thank you to all.

Aching and Longing

This isn't a "real" post, just me expressing some sadness and frustration. The past 5-6 days, it's been hard for sweet k and I to have the time together that we want. I've been busy, she's been busy, and our schedules just haven't been aligning right. Consequently I miss her in a dire way lately - something more deep and desperate than usual. It hurts to be apart.

And that makes my mind and heart spiral off into dark places they don't want to go. I know this will all be ok soon. It's just a hiccup in the overall flow, but at the same time I feel on tenterhooks at every moment, and that's not a feeling I like.

Just needed to vent a little here. I'm a strong grown-up and I can survive a little longing like this. Thanks for listening all, and k I love you all the stars in the sky.

Just Before Sleeping

The hour or so just before going to sleep has become the center of my day in many ways. I'm really quite addicted to spending that time on the phone with unique and smile-inducing k.

On an average day, we'll send text a hundred or so text messages back and forth, maybe chat on the phone briefly, talk on IM a while, use the webcam now and then. But lately, in my mind, that's all become a prelude to that center of gravity at the end of the day, when we get into our respective beds a couple thousand miles apart and really spend time together.

The contradictions of the day all seem to resolve at that moment, any misunderstandings between us are settled, the long day recedes, we are as close as we can be, and in a way we are outside the march of time for a while. It's a time just for k and I, with no other distractions (well, last night there was a loud thunderstorm in her part of the world, but that's about as far as the distractions go).

Most nights we just talk for a good long while - seems there's always something else to talk about with her and our conversations never run dry. As often as not, that leads to some kind of phone play. Whether it does or doesn't, I'll usually read something to her next - right now it's a chapter (sometimes two) of a novel we are working our way through. Then I'll sing to her, tell her I love her, remind her that she's mine, and we go to sleep.

My dreams are often full of her presence, unsurprisingly. I like to think that our special time on the phone keeps reverberating for through my sleep, and still echoes into the morning. The rhythm of my day finds its downbeat, syncopations coalesce, and I am "on the one" every night on the phone with my girl.

Temporary Relief

My succulent k has the day off today. She sent me a text message at work when she awoke, telling me about how she is all languid and warm in bed and missing me.

Unsurprisingly, this made me focus on other things than work.

I adore the way certain aspects of her personality are emphasized when she is drowsy and lazy. Never fails to turn me on and get my Dommishness in an uproar.

At those moments, it's unfair that we don't get to be together regularly. Well, at all moments really, but those ones are particularly intense. This morning, I made her roll onto her stomach and masturbate to orgasm while repeating out loud that she belongs to me. It gave me some long-distance Domly satisfaction, put my surrendering k in the submissive mental space that she inhabits so beautifully, and gave her a little release to start the day.

It's not a perfect solution, but it works for us when there are few alternatives.

The Second Time

I had to get up at 4am that morning, so i could be at the airport by 5 for a flight at 6. It was dark, and i was tired and nervous. I hate flying, and not only would i be taking 2 flights that day, the first would be on a propeller plane.

All things considered the flights weren't too bad. The first flight was the best actually, i had an entire row to myself for spreading out in. The second flight i was squashed between two men.

The first flight ended at a familiar airport, and i got to make my way to my gate fairly easily, only to learn my flight would be delayed for 2 hours - two hours i could have spent taking a nap or reading - i spent texting my just awake Irch.

And then the second flight, too many hours long, i didn't think it was ever going to end, but i did manage to catch a few blessed moments of sleep before we landed.

And then a new airport, a new state, and i walked quickly - like i always do in airports - making my way to the departure gates. My eyes always straining ahead for that first glimpse.

And then finally, coming up a long incline, there He was, waiting at the top for me. And I was in His arms again, and His lips covered mine once more, and it made the hours of flying, and the hours of missed sleep, and the days of missed work completely worth it - i was home.

BratCam

My sassy subbie k has been acting a bit bratty the last couple of days. Just her usual "fun and games" kind of bratty, but still ... defiant when she didn't need to be, sometimes trying to goad me into doing something about it. I realized that the webcam (which we use a few times a week usually) provides for her a different kind of platform for that incorrigible insouciance.

First of all, I have to point out here what I've pointed out to my cheeky k a number of times: what a reversal it's been since I first got her a webcam! There was a lot of temerity on her part at first (you can read about some of it here), and it used to take a lot of convincing and flexing of the Dom-muscles to get her to agree to turn it on in the past. It took months of steady perssure to get her to flip it on for the very first time. But nowadays she's the one all excited about using it, always on the lookout for an occasion. This turnabout amuses me to no end.

In any case, I've noticed that those couple of times that we've really been together in the flesh, she keeps her brattiness on lockdown. I don't know if it's because there's so much else going on that she doesn't think to be cheeky, or if she's finally getting all the attention she wants and deserves, or if she's too scared to act up when my spanking hand is in such close proximity, or something else entirely... but whatever the reasons behind it, she is relatively tame that way in person.

However when we text back and forth, or speak in IM, or over the phone, she has no such inhibitions. This is part of her that I've grown accustomed to, a part of her I love and appreciate, a part of her that sometimes annoys and infuriates. It's taken some time to get to a point where I can decode when her brattiness is playful, when it's flat-out misbehavior, and when it's a willfulness calculated to exact punishment. Not that I always get it right, mind you, but a lot more often than I used to now.

What's interesting is the new element that the webcam adds to the mix. I think the distance created by the webcam, the feeling that one is "putting on a show" to some extent, allows my cunning k to try out behaviors she might not try in person.

One of the differences is the whole new arsenal at her disposal to express her sassiness, from the cocked eyebrow to the stuck-out tongue to the exasperated eye-roll. It's been interesting and fun getting used to these expressions, and matching them up with phrases she might type to me or say over the phone in a different circumstance.

The webcam also allows me to see past the surface expressions and to the underlying warmth, love, and good humor that my k has in abundance. I can see the coy smile that threatens to burst out from beneath a fake scowl, the confidence in her own beauty and uniqueness that peeks from behind her pouts.

Last night, we were chatting with our webcams on, and hungry k was eating something. I asked her what it was, and she thought she'd play a game. She told me over and over again that she wasn't eating anything, while continuing to pop I don't know what - raisins or something - into her mouth at regular intervals. "You're hallucinating. My poor old Dom's eyesight is going bad." And I realized that, besides the general amusement that comes from the patently absurd, this was highly entertaining and more than a little erotic, purely because of the webcam being used...

She wouldn't think to do this in person, because of course I could just see what it was she had in her hand. In IM or over the phone, it would have lost that stark bold "pay no attention to the man behind the curtain" visual irony. This was brattiness suited to its medium, and raised nearly to an art form. And the genuine gleam of fun in her eyes the whole time made it hard to think of it as the usual kind of acting up.

In the end, my stubborn k got the punishment that she was so clearly begging for, albeit one that incorporated reminders that there are better ways to go about it. I was able to push her down deep into her sub-space, really extend and deepen my control, claim and possess her as fully as I ever have. And some of it wouldn't have been possible without the motivation that the webcam provided.

One of the best investments I ever made, that camera. I'm sometimes amazed at my own foresight in giving it to the tantalizing, creative, sexy, sumptuous gal I own and love.

Lunch and Longing

I'm still reeling a little from my romantic k's last post, which is why it's taken me some time to post something of my own.

This is an odd way to go about answering Tulsa's quest for personal details:

"I'd like to know more about your everyday lives. Ages, areas, what you look like how you met (this might be in here), how you deal with being apart [...] What are your favorite colors? Do you like animals? Are you people who spend your lives in front of desks or outside?"

I suppose I'm more willing to go into a little detail now than I have been in the past, so the following is an attempt to get into some of this stuff we've been mostly keeping to ourselves.

Magnificent k and I are pretty different in lots of small and large ways (at least different within the scope of 21st-century college-educated Americans, which admittedly is a relatively narrow slice of things). Here's a handy little chart, so you all don't have to go read actual sentences or anything to get the basic details.

• Irch is West Coast urbanite
  
• K is Bible-belt small-city
  

• Irch is politically-liberal atheist
• K is politically-conservative Christian

• Irch is late-30s, divorced
• K is early-20s, never married

• Irch is not a big fan of nonhuman creatures living in his house
• K loves the pets

• Irch works a desk job, is something of a music scholar, likes to read books
  
• K works in retail, is something of a literature scholar, likes to listen to music

Those are some of the bigger contrasts that pop into my head. Naturally, as this blog attests regularly, there are overwhelming amounts of similarity too. Which brings me to the topic of the sandwich.

I've written here before about how important food is to me, and how we've tried to share cooking and eating experiences in the past. One of the ways that this has manifested itself lately has been in the creation of our own signature sandwich. Yes, I am a "gastro-dork," but it makes me feel closer to the gal I love when one of us is eating this bit of deliciousness. Though it falls short of being a full-fledged recipe by dint of its simplicity, it's something we both created and we both love to eat, which makes it special.

For the record, I'm talking about a sandwich of dill-havarti cheese, tomato, and avocado, on some kind of interesting bread (I tend toward the sourdough baguette myself), with some spicy brown mustard. How completely ludicrous and how completely wonderful that I can feel like we are having a special meal together when we are a couple of time zones apart.

Sometimes it's the small things that make the distance between sexy k and I seem smaller.

The first time

The first time we met, in person, flesh to flesh, face to face, i was so nervous. I thought about running away, about not answering my phone, anything i could do to keep the inevitable from actually happening. I remember feeling a deep pull in the deep pit of my stomach when He did call letting me know He'd made it to town.

I wasn't sure what was going to happen that night - i'd actually planned to come home to my apartment after we'd spent some time together that night and see how things went the next day.

After dinner we went out to the parking lot, our cars right next to each other, to decide what we wanted to do next. It was a little cold, and i felt so awkward holding my purse there, but He made me forget about all of that.

He wrapped His arms around me, and pulled me against His chest. It was so right there, that's where i fit. And i pulled back enough to look up at Him again, just before He whispered.

"I need to kiss you."

And His lips descended to cover mine before i even had time to really hear what He had said, so warm and soft and everything i've ever wanted. And god i just wanted to kiss Him like that forever.

I will hold on to this memory for the rest of my life.

Well as you all know my Irch decided to open the blog content up to any questions you all might have for us - because i know i often struggle for blog topics, and apparently Irch is tired of telling you all how wonderful i am - though i don't know how that could be, He hasn't even told you all half of the things that make me so wonderful. (joking, joking ... seriously)

But i thought i might be the first to tackle one of the questions which was posed by Votary. She asked:

As far as my curiosities go, they always venture quite imaginatively into the blank spaces in your entries. I always wonder more about your day to day lives, and what strategies you use to make it through each day without each other. I feel like I struggle a lot with loneliness and self-doubt in a LD relationship, but you guys make it seem so effortless. So what's your secret(s)?

I think this is something that we both tend to gloss over alot in our posts - we tend to stick to the soaring highs, rather than dwell on the low points we come to when we write here. But i do think that we both struggle at times with loneliness and things like that in our relationship. I will only speak for myself right now, and Irch can chime in later if He feels the need.

I am one of those natural-born-worriers. I worry all the time - i worry about being late to work when i still have 20 minutes before i have to be there, i worry about paying my bills even though i know i have more than enough money to cover them, i worry about my family's well being, i worry about Irch's well being, i worry that one day He'll wake up a decided this long distance thing isn't working, that it's not worth it.

It's just the way i am, i guess - and i have been this way for as long as i can remember.

So things get hard at times, being long-distance means i can't get those reassuring hugs and soft caresses that would normally ease my worrying mind, i don't get to look into His eyes, every day or sleep beside him every night - and it's hard. I hate the distance, and i hate that we can't have all those little things that we crave every day.

There are little things we do to help ease the frustrations and depressions of being so far apart. I think the biggest help recently has been the webcam, to be able to actually see Him does a world of good for me - to see the look of love in His eyes, even though we're so far apart helps to push aside all those thoughts that sometimes fill my mind.

The collar i wear also helps me a great deal. I don't often realize the number of times i reach up during the day and just hold the charm between my fingers - it's a physical reminder of the bond that Irch and i share, and it helps to calm me and give me strength through out my days without Him.

The trip i took to see Him in December was actually fueled, in part, by an intense period of missing one another, and we decided to make the spur of the moment trip - of course, as much as i might like to, we won't be able to just make sudden trips like this whenever we miss the other just a little too much. But those times when we are together they really do help the in between times. Being able to remember that when we're apart and pull up shared experiences and memories together when we talk on the phone really does help ease the pain.

And apart from Irch, i have been able to share Him with my friends, with whom i live and see daily - and even when I am not able to talk to Irch on the phone, or see Him over the webcam, or any of the things we might normally do when we're missing the other. I can tell them, I can complain to my best friend that long distance relationships suck, that i miss Him so much, and all i want to do is be held by Him again, and she is there for me. She is there to comfort - and tease - me when i need it. And i think that is one of the biggest helps, that it's not just me dealing with this on my own, but knowing that Irch is as well, and that i have friends who i can turn to when i need to.

So those are some of the things that really help me, Votary. I am sure Irch will have a few things to add, seeing as He usually does.

But feel free to ask more questions, if you haven't already, or even if you have. Irch seemed really excited at the prospect of having ideas from someone else about what we should post here - He's a bit excitable when it comes to the blog, if you haven't noticed already. ;)

You Had to Ask

I thought we could try something new on the ol' Dominant Seventh homestead today. Not that we've run out of stories to tell or anything (we'll be going on and on about each other for decades to come, I have no doubt), but just to mix things up a little.

So: let's play "Ask Irch and/or k." To participate, all you have to do is ask a question in the comments, and we'll do our best to answer them. Here's your chance to determine the content of this blog, at least to some degree. And you know how hard it is for Dommish types like me to relinquish control, so seize the opportunity while you can!

Banner Headline

Hey did y'all notice the beautiful new banner across the top of the blog up there? Yes, just like the last one, that is the work of photoshop artist and subbie extraordinaire k. Beautiful no?

a quick 17 syllables about it (and again I suggest you all try a haiku today. It won't hurt, I promise!)

You rest, finely tuned,
bursting with potential song
my hands will draw out

some haiku

Here's a little sequence of haiku that I call "sitting in my office remembering an awesome blowjob from a few weeks ago"


Rain plummeting to
pound on the window - I think
about your sweet tongue

Tightening my lungs,
as the rapturous flood of
memory rises

The moment - pristine,
unordered, bright - threatens to
burst through the levees

Ecstatic release,
so intense... Today I sit
at my desk and just type.


Haiku Challenge 2008
I think that we need to have another little round of erotic or D/s-related haiku, like was done a while back in this space. Rather than tag specific people, I want to throw it open to anyone reading. Take a moment, do the 5-7-5 syllable thing, it really doesn't take long. Post it on your own blog, or at the very least put something in the comments here.

Let out your inner poet and let's have some new words for the new year!

Potentialities

Romantic k and I have entered this new phase of our relationship, where the distance between us has a fraught urgency that didn't exist before. On the other hand, there's a solid surety to things, a tangibility that's new in its own way. And these, combined with the fertility of our imaginations, has led to some truly stunning phone play recently.

The deep ache I feel for her flavor, her scent, the twist and arc of her body beneath mine, on has grown ever more intense, and that need plays itself out in hundreds of ways when we talk on the phone. Her submission shines through in her voice as it always has, and sometimes it feels as if I'm trying to perform a magic trick: transforming sound waves into a more tangible physical phenomenon. The "imaginary space" that we share (and have long shared) when we are in IM or on the phone, is based more and more on things that we have truly experienced. That makes it all so smoking hot, and then afterwards heartbreaking when it fails (as it must) to live up to the high-water mark of skin-to-skin contact.

When we are playing together over the phone now, the sunbright memories of our time in the bedroom (and out of it) streak through and illuminate everything I think and do and say. The texture of my sexy k's hair when I thread my fingers through it, the rich heady scent of her pussy juices, the taste of her neck, the plush fullness of her lips, the heft of her breast in my hand, the resilience of her assflesh when I swat it with my bare hand, the sly motions of her fingers over my stomach, the quickfading marks my teeth leave on her pale skin, the fit of her body to mine when she clings to me, the swirl of her pink tongue over the head of my cock. But beyond all that, it's the way that her submisison informs every motion and expression, the way her eyes seem to be surrendering at every moment.

And there's a certain optimism in our phone sex now as well - a sense of limitless potential. We have a long history of imagining things together, but never before have we known with this solid certainty that the things we imagine can (and in most cases will) come true. The thrill of this can't be underestimated - yes we made good use of our time together, but of course there's always an endlessly deep wellspring of more desire, more things to try, more delights to savor. To some extent, glorious k and I are using the phone time as a chance to experiment, to attempt activities that will likely come to fruition in some form the next time we meet. Or the time after that.

I deeply love my woman, and I cannot wait to be with her again the very moment that it's possible.

Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks

I am a lover of words. Ever since my Irch started this blog and first had me start posting here alongside Him - i have wanted to create the beautifully composed and wonderfully eloquent things that He creates each time He blogs here. And not simply because i am jealous of His easy way of stringing words together to create a symphony of love and meaning - but because i want to tell you all about the wonderful and amazing heart stoppingly wonderful Man who is my Master and all the things that He does to make my life a little better every single day.

I want to tell you about that moment when i knelt at his feet - so completely sure of myself and in us - as he slipped that collar around my neck. I want to tell you about the rush of love and desire that overwhelms me each and every time i catch sight of my collar in a mirror or in a reflection.

I want to tell You about the sweet times we've spent lying in bed together for hours talking and laughing and teasing one another. I want to tell you about the look He gets in His eyes right before His mouth covers mine in a breath stealing kiss - and the easy way He overwhelms and dominates me whenever He wants.

But most of all - i want to tell you all how truly amazing, life changing, wonderfully, soul touchingly, and heart achingly wonderful it is to know that i am loved beyond any shadow of doubt by a Man that i love and desire more than anyone else in the entire world. To know that He wants me as much as i want Him - and not only that but i belong to Him. I wear His collar around my neck every single day - i am marked as His. He loves me enough to put His name on me. To show the world that i belong to Him utterly and completely.

I want to tell you all about that, but i never seem to be able to find the words.

Beds and Collars

I had bought myself a new bed back in August, and I was enjoying sleeping in it. Firm mattress, cushy pillows, dark rich colors for the sheets and all that stuff. Lots of room to stretch out and I slept smack in the middle of the bed.

Since luscious k's visit, though, I noticed that I've continued to sleep on the one side of the bed where I slept while she was here (there was a lot of entangling of limbs as we slept and half-slept, of course, but I was the one closest to the door when she was here, and I am still on that side almost 2 weeks later). A shared bed is a sacred space for me, I guess. Quoting Yeats for the upteenth time here: "the crushed grass where we have lain/and the moon is wilder every minute" pretty much sums up how my thoughts are completely wrapped up in my sensual k when I even glance at the bed, let alone lay in it.

....

It's been over a month since my first meeting with sweet k, and I still haven't talked about what was one of the most precious and powerful moments of that trip. As those of you who've followed along here for a while know, I bought her a collar about a year ago, when we were still online-only (you can read about it here if you like). Unfortunately, she was only able to wear it for a few weeks before horrible things happened in my life and I altered our relationship drastically. But once we started picking up the threads again, one of the first things I asked her was if she still had that collar (ok a necklace, to be technical) I'd bought her.

The answer was yes.

And on my last night visiting precious k's city, I asked her to kneel for me, I placed that collar around her neck, hooked it in the back, listened to her pledge her submission to me, and claimed her as my own with words I can't recall now. This was a little impromptu and unrehearsed "ceremony," not particularly about love (except how everything between us is always about love), but about realizing out-loud the special trusting bond of D/s in our relationship.

My hands should have been shaking and I should have been stammering, but I felt completely sure of myself and her. It felt like the completing of a circle, like the pull of gravity. By this I don't mean that it felt like "fate" as it's commonly understood - some outside force pushing us willy-nilly along a predestined path. No, this was something actively and robustly created by the two of us, and snapping the clasp closed felt like the fulfillment of a shared desire. Because of that, it was easy for me to be confident - the moment was the realization of an emotional truth we already knew.

k will tell you that she has only taken the collar off in order to pass through metal-detectors at the airport to come visit me. I get a powerful frisson of lust and Domliness whenever I see her wearing it, or even think of its constant presence on her warm body. That's my love, my comfort, my control, my guidance, my support, all encircling her, 24 hours a day.

New Geography

One of the nicer side-effects of unique k's recent visit has been that the world around me has been transformed to a greater degree than before. Since we were online-only for so long, I never was able to have the kind of "place memory" that I do now.

Sure, there are a few places that would spark reflective moments: the spot outside my workplace where I'd often call her on my breaks, the laundry room I was in when she texted me that she had just orgasmed for me at 8pm like I'd instructed, that sort of thing.

But now I've had my delectable k in the place where I live, actually physically present eating at my table, sitting on my couch, sleeping (and not sleeping) in my bed. And beyond that, she's walked through the streets I walk through every day, visited various neighborhoods of the city where I grew up (and heard tedious stories of my childhood ad nauseam), went to restaurants I've been to before and will go to again. My workplace was closed for the holiday period, or we'd have stopped in there too, I'm sure. I pointed it out as we went by, anyway.

There's a whole erotic map superimposed upon the geography around me now. Something personal, full of love and passion for one particular woman. She's a part of my daily living space in a way she hasn't been in the past, and we have started creating our own shared history in locations I've had associations with my whole life.

Last night we were chatting in IM, and flirtatious k pointed out to me that I was sitting on the couch where we had been making out just a few days ago (actually even more than just making out, but I'll leave that to your dirty imaginations for now). I was struck by a deep satisfaction that we have these real sensual memories, undeniable and fixed in space and time. Simultaneously, I had pangs of longing that were sharper and deeper than I've ever felt.

There was a fluidity to things when we had never met in person - the flow from being "together" online and just "keeping in touch" with texts and emails was a relatively easy one (in retrospect, anyway). It was fulfilling and beautiful and I wouldn't trade it for anything, but it's just not the same as being together in the flesh. Now that we have begun imprinting our love and devotion onto the map and timeline of the world, it's more of a struggle to make that shift to the long-distance mode of being.

I ache for k's touch and scent and sheer unimagined physical presence often, but it's the ache of postponed fulfillment, one that all lovers know at one time or another. I am adjusting, so is she, and now we have a surrounding world dotted with markers of our love and lust. It's a sublime experience, and I can't wait to expand that map further, fill it in with a million details over time.

building castles in the sky

So i've just gotten back from my rather long and a bit upsetting trek across country to return to my home town - oh so very far away from my Irch. He asked me to make a blog post when i got home, possibly just to give me something to think about on the way home so i wouldn't get emo about leaving.

In any case, i've been thinking about what i should write about since i got on the first plane this morning, and now hours and hours later i'm still not sure. Irch and i were talking about that a bit this weekend, it's hard to blog now that we've been together in person - because there is just so so so much to say now, it's hard to pick and choose what gets said and what doesn't, and it's hard to narrow each entry down - it feels like it'll take ages to cover just that first weekend we had together, and now we've gone and had another one together.

I am going to try and be brief though, and no i won't get to every amazing and wonderful detail about this weekend, but i do want to focus on something that was different this trip compared to our last trip.

Apart from the obvious - my visiting Irch instead of the other way around - this trip was different in that it was just He and i. The entire weekend was just the two of us, we got to go out together and come home together and sleep together - we got to do every thing together without having anyone else around to interact with.

On His visit, Irch spent time at my place with my friends and roommates - and that was fun and wonderful and so special to share that part of my life with Him, but this ... Sharing an entire weekend alone together, now that is something special.

It's nice sharing time together with friends and family, but call me selfish, I adore the time we get to spend alone together. Irch made mention of one of the days we spent entirely in bed, that was just so wonderful - and i don't even have to mention all the orgasms and things that went along with that - just being able to be close to him like that, curled up under the covers, kissing, tickling, laughing, and just talking - that was probably my favorite point of the weekend.

I adore my Man, in more ways than i could ever possibly tell any of you, and just being with Him is simply my favorite thing in the world.

Just the two of us.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year everyone.

I am a little melancholy at the moment, having just taking my vivacious k to the airport for her trip home 2000 miles from me.

But we had the most magical time while she was here - got to do a few touristy things, spend one whole day in bed, and went out for a great New Year's Eve night. The singer in the band we went to see even came up to us between sets to let us know she was watching us making out - heh. I'm still just overwhelmed by k's beauty and magnificence and submission every moment of every day.

I kissed the woman I love and own at midnight last night. This is our year.