Friday, January 11, 2008

Beds and Collars

I had bought myself a new bed back in August, and I was enjoying sleeping in it. Firm mattress, cushy pillows, dark rich colors for the sheets and all that stuff. Lots of room to stretch out and I slept smack in the middle of the bed.

Since luscious k's visit, though, I noticed that I've continued to sleep on the one side of the bed where I slept while she was here (there was a lot of entangling of limbs as we slept and half-slept, of course, but I was the one closest to the door when she was here, and I am still on that side almost 2 weeks later). A shared bed is a sacred space for me, I guess. Quoting Yeats for the upteenth time here: "the crushed grass where we have lain/and the moon is wilder every minute" pretty much sums up how my thoughts are completely wrapped up in my sensual k when I even glance at the bed, let alone lay in it.

....

It's been over a month since my first meeting with sweet k, and I still haven't talked about what was one of the most precious and powerful moments of that trip. As those of you who've followed along here for a while know, I bought her a collar about a year ago, when we were still online-only (you can read about it here if you like). Unfortunately, she was only able to wear it for a few weeks before horrible things happened in my life and I altered our relationship drastically. But once we started picking up the threads again, one of the first things I asked her was if she still had that collar (ok a necklace, to be technical) I'd bought her.

The answer was yes.

And on my last night visiting precious k's city, I asked her to kneel for me, I placed that collar around her neck, hooked it in the back, listened to her pledge her submission to me, and claimed her as my own with words I can't recall now. This was a little impromptu and unrehearsed "ceremony," not particularly about love (except how everything between us is always about love), but about realizing out-loud the special trusting bond of D/s in our relationship.

My hands should have been shaking and I should have been stammering, but I felt completely sure of myself and her. It felt like the completing of a circle, like the pull of gravity. By this I don't mean that it felt like "fate" as it's commonly understood - some outside force pushing us willy-nilly along a predestined path. No, this was something actively and robustly created by the two of us, and snapping the clasp closed felt like the fulfillment of a shared desire. Because of that, it was easy for me to be confident - the moment was the realization of an emotional truth we already knew.

k will tell you that she has only taken the collar off in order to pass through metal-detectors at the airport to come visit me. I get a powerful frisson of lust and Domliness whenever I see her wearing it, or even think of its constant presence on her warm body. That's my love, my comfort, my control, my guidance, my support, all encircling her, 24 hours a day.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

What a lovely post and I wish you both all the best. Those last two sentences are beautiful and I think you are both lucky to have found what you have.

Best
Mina

Votary said...

I love your distinction between the clichéd and nebulous idea of "fate" and rather "something actively and robustly created by the two of [you]." I admire that kind of heady romantic realism! It's that kind of thing, I think, that makes the ongoing narrative of you and k into an extraordinary work of art.

Irch said...

Thank you, Wilhelmina, that's very sweet of you to say, and welcome to the blog! I took a quick look at your own site and I love what I've read so far! I'll add a link next time I'm updating here, for sure.

And Votary, you more than anyone must know how romance thrives on reality. I'm afraid I have to take issue with the "work of art" status that you proclaim, however. This is just two people chronicling their feelings and experiences on the page (or screen). It's only art if life and love are art.

Unknown said...

I just wanted to thank you for writing...there seem to be far fewer dominant men keeping blogs out there than submissive women, and I appreciate the perspective that you have. It truly gives me some insight into "the other side", and ultimately helps me become a better submissive.

I look forward to reading more from both you and k.

~S

Irch said...

Well thank you Spiral, and thanks for visiting :) I fully admit that I'm still finding my way as a Dom, and particularly as beautiful k's Dom.

It was nice catching up on your blog, by the way - not sure why I never linked to you, but I'll fix that very soon. Hope you stop by often!