Superstructure

So for the past couple of weeks, I've been steadily expanding my influence in k's daily real life. This has been exciting and thrilling, sometimes scary, always a powerful experience.

Now I've written here before about my giving my k assignments to carry out for me in r/l, usually writing something for me, leaving a certain voice message for me, etc. The first post she made here was at my behest, for example. And there have been other more overtly sexual and D/s-ish things, too: having her masturbate at a certain time in a certain way, writing my initials on her body, making her close her eyes and think of sex every time she sees the number 5. Probably typical Dom stuff, but it's been so empowering to know that I have a guiding hand in the life that she's leading several states away. And highly arousing, too, of course!

In any case, it's not that kind of stuff I'm talking about. This time I'm referring to run-of-the-mill quotidian activities that are really outside of the traditional D/s "scene." It started back before Christmas, and sort of sprang up out of my Protective Nurturing Dom mode (oh yeah, and any Dom/me that tells you they don't have that side is such a huge liar).

I don't think I'm giving away too much about k's private life when I say that she's planning to take the GRE test soon (a test like like the SATs, but for graduate school). Every time I asked her about it, she had an excuse why she hadn't started studying yet or looked into where and when to take the test, etc. Well I thought this was a pretty important thing for her to do, and joked with her that if she didn't make some progress soon that I'd make it into an official assignment, so she wouldn't be able to wriggle out of it. And eventually I did just that - put it on her list of assignments.

Now this was something of a leap for me. Though it was a fairly innocuous thing to assign, and obviously came from a loving motivation and all, it was the first time I'd pushed my Dom role into the zone that was previously reserved for "friendship" conversations. Yes, Dom and lover and friend had been all mashed up for a while, but I was still conscious of the fact that I was moving past a previous boundary.

To my delight, k took to it easily and dutifully and enthusiastically. Now, would she have done this all eventually even if I hadn't given her the assignment? Yes, I'm certain she would have. Perhaps it wouldn't have been quite as rigorous. Perhaps she'd have waited till the last minute. But she would have done it.

I like to think that having me "presiding and guiding" makes doing it less onerous somehow - adding a layer of fun and love. In any case, the fact remains that none of my caring nudges as her friend worked, but as soon as I put it in D/s terms, she was off to the races...

Once the ball was rolling on her GRE studying, I asked her how she felt about me reaching into her regular life like that, and she told me that she welcomed it and wouldn't mind if I did it more. [editorial note: my k will most definitely set the record straight if I put words in her mouth here - that girl has no compunction at all about correcting her Master]

So in the last couple weeks I've been "helping" with more aspects of life. Yeah, I like the word "helping" - definitely makes it sound like I only have her best interests at heart, instead of being a cold and cruel slave-driving task-master. Stuff like making sure she gets to bed early enough at night, gets her work done on time, etc. I've dished out punishments when she's failed, and served up rewards when she's complied especially well. The whole experience has been truly exciting, and I've learned a whole lot about myself in the process.

Until this whole "helping" business started with k, I really thought of myself as a bedroom-only kind of Dom: totally into D/s sexual scenes, but just vanilla in every other arena. I still think that's mostly the case, and I could never have one of those real-life M/s relationships that you read about (though hey, I have the utmost respect for those who can make that work). I know that deep down it would disturb me. But this gentle easing of my control into other aspects of my k's life has felt right, I must say. It will hit a limit at some point, for both of us, but right now I'm not sure where that limit will be (could be we're at that limit already, I dunno yet). We're exploring and learning what fits for each of us.

One of the best aspects of this new phase is that now I get a serious charge (of the sexual variety) out of boring everyday stuff that never turned me on before. Example: my k text-messaged me this morning to tell me that she got up on time and ate breakfast before starting her day, and it actually made my cock hard - knowing that I had some influence in that, knowing that she was doing it in part for me, knowing that she feels my presence in all those little details of life.

Such is the sweet obedience of my girl.