Friday, January 27, 2006

release

So i've wondered alot recently what exactly it is about a spanking. What is it about them that makes them able to be so diverse?

Yesterday was a really tough day for me. I got some pretty heart breaking news late in the afternoon after a really long day. I was tired from being up for so long and running around all day and then to get the news that i didn't get something i'd been hoping for, for months, just really hit me hard.

I called Irch soon after i got the news to let Him know. I just really needed someone to talk to for a bit and work out my emotions and stuff. Irch was busy when i had called and then i was for several hours after. When we were finally able to talk it was just really hard.

I was still upset and beating myself up about my news, and Irch was feeling helpless because there wasn't much He could do in that situation other than be there for me. And as much as i loved that i kind of felt myself pushing against Him when He was there offering support and words of encouragement to me. I wanted it but i also just wanted to be angry and hurt for a while.

I told Him at some point that i really just felt like i needed a spanking right then. Just that moment of release to help me calm down.

Being as it was one of the only things Irch was able to do for me, He obliged.

I've said before how i've always felt times when i just really needed a spanking to help me release the pent up frustration and anger i had. Last night was really it. I needed Irch to give me something that i could really cry about and not feel weak.

I hated that i was crying over this lost opportunity - i know it's not the end of the world, or my life, just the life i was expecting to have over the upcoming years, and i know it's not because of anything that i am lacking that i didn't get the position. But despite knowing all that, it still hurt. I still found myself needing to cry over it. I hated doing that though, my mind kept telling me how stupid i was for crying over something like that, it wasn't important and it wasn't going to keep me from anything that i really wanted to do. So why should i be crying over it - i just felt weak and helpless.

As Irch spanked me though i felt that voice in my head slowly turn down the volume. I suddenly had something i could cry about and not feel weak. I could finally give up everything i had been holding in during the day and just get it all out. Just give it all up and give myself up to Irch completely once again. I let myself just cry and cry, sobs racked my body as i just felt like i could finally release all that anger and frustration from my day.

Irch was there to take all my tension, my fears, and my doubts from me. He just pulled them all from my body with each crash of His hand against my flesh. I needed it more than i think even He might have known, just to know that He was there and willing to take every bad thing from me, striving to set everything right in my life once more.

I didn't have to worry about anything anymore, i didn't have to hold in that anger or frustration or the tears. He was there for me and He would take everything that i had. Just to feel His domination, His control, His ownership of me slowly made everything else in the world seem so insignificant. I just let Him take me in completely and surrendered everything i had.

I feel closer to Him today than i have in a while. I feel completely safe and secure in the knowledge that i am His, just as He is mine. I know that Irch loves me and will do whatever is within His power to make things right for me .. and that my friends is truly amazing.

3 comments:

Irch said...

I think the scene meant as much to Me as it did to you, my pet. Asserting my dominance and taking your burdens from you was exactly what I needed too.

on a lighter note: I think perhaps we should re-title the blog "That my friends is just amazing," since you enjoy using that phrase a lot lately :P

All My love and a thousand kisses

k said...

can i help that i have a limited vocabulary, don't make fun of me Mister :p

Irch said...

It's only because I know full well the depth and breadth of your vocabulary that I feel justified in making fun.

... Oh yeah, and you belong to Me, in case that had slipped your mind or something