fabric of love

There seems to be something new between k and I. I've spent the last few days trying to figure out just what it is, but can't put my finger on it. Maybe that's partly because I haven't really "spent the last few days" thinking about it, because mostly I've been revelling in it, whatever the heck it is.

We had a couple of days where we were able to keep in touch from morning till night, either with IM or email or phone or text messaging, and it was like a dream come true to be with her that much. She's so enchanting and intoxicating when I get her in small doses, but all-day banter is another level of engagement entirely. Somehow in those couple of days, the little shadows that had been in my mind during our time apart all got blown away, and there's this new kind of ... geez it's tough to put a name to it. Sort of a scintillation, a heat, a depth. I feel like she's more truly Mine than ever before somehow.

It's not like there's been a qualitative change, more like an intensification to a degree I hadn't thought possible. Even when we're just chatting about silly daily stuff, I feel it. And it's more intrinsically tied to my domination of her than previously. I'm reaching into her r/l more, and doing so not just as a friend, but as her Dom. Asserting my dominance more. And I feel her submission sort of drawing this out from me in various ways, welcoming it. My need to control her is more overwhelming than ever.

I realize this is one of my more scattered and bizarre posts, and maybe I'll have a better handle on this in a few weeks. But whatever it is, it's a most amazing thing. Feel like I'm dancing every time I see k's name or have a passing thought of her. My dreams have been full of her. It's like I'm taking in her scent with every breath. Feels like we've woven this really strong fabric of friendship, love, and D/s, and now we're leaning on that fabric, testing it's resilience, and using it as the first step on a ladder to something new.

And yes, my k's slightly bratty behavior seems connected to this too. It's certainly not as bratty as the kinds of behavior I've seen in other subs. Pretty mild, really. But the fun part of it is that I'm so enjoying the tension in her -- I can see her inner struggle, between wanting to mouth off or act up for attention on the one hand, and desiring to be all demure and well-behaved for her Dom on the other. It's adorable, of course, and it's such a power-rush to see her caught between the two extremes, knowing how influential I am in her life.

We weren't able to spend much time in IM over the long holiday weekend, which was a major disappointment to both of us, but we've emerged from it stronger. I for one am ready to use that fabric I talked about as a springboard to jump into a stratosphere of mutual lust with her.