Rather Cheeky

Over the past week, things between Irch and i have been so intense. Every little thing just adds to that bond that we have and it's just been so amazing. Through all of this i have found out so much not only about Irch and our relationship together but also about myself. I feel myself actually aching to submit to him in new ways, and striving to keep from messing up in any way.

When i first discovered the land of BDSM and M/s and everything else that goes along with it i was instantly drawn it. It was like finding this completely new side of me that i'd never even seen before, that i'd never even considered before. So that in itself was amazing and just wow. Since accepting Irch's collar it's like that feeling all over again. I'm finding all new depths to myself that i never even knew existed before and this time it's all happening so naturally.

We fit together so easily even after knowing each other as friends for years before the collar. This just seems right now and everything is the way it's supposed to be between us finally.

One thing i've noticed this week in particular is rather new to me. While everything in our relationship has been intensifying and we're getting closer, i've discovered something completely new about myself which is a bit odd.

I'm a brat!

Ha! I'll bet that comes as a big shock to all of you, saying "oh sure but aren't all subs". Not true my friends. Generally i don't think i am at all (Irch may say differently) the only time i've ever purposefully bratted was in a chatroom and even then it's not very much. So how surprised was i when i did it today without thinking.

I sent Irch a bit of a bratty text message this afternoon, i'm pretty sure he hasn't read it yet or maybe he has, heh. But wow - after i sent it i stopped and thought "now where did that come from". And really it wasn't super bratty or anything like that, but i think it went way past any of my normal behavior. So i thought about it a bit today and came to a very funny realization.

I'd been a brat because i missed Irch. True we've gotten to be in contact for long periods over the past few days but i've missed actually getting to "talk" with him and spend time with him over these past few days as well. And yes it's just so text book and cliche but when i actually took the time to think about it i realized that yes i miss him like crazy and want to spend some real time with him.

So look at that, some bratty behavior is not just the result of a spoiled sub acting up to get attention. Sometimes it's the result of a spoiled sub acting up to get attention and ... wait. Heh, so maybe it's kind of the same thing but really it's totally different.

And so really there was no point to this post other than to let you all in on what a dork i can be.