Swat Team

Over the weekend, My tremendously wonderful k and I finally got some real time together, and we kind of went into D/s overdrive. We had a long multi-hour session together saturday, which is a rarity for us in general, and was the first real extended period of time available to us since the craziness last month.

One of the most important things that happened was that I finally gave k her punishment for the March Madness stuff that went on, in the form of a serious spanking that I like to think she won't soon forget. It was the first time that spanking her was anything but playful - it was still a loving act, but not one full of light-hearted fun.

And yes in a lot of ways, when I take a step back from it, it seems rather crazy to administer a punishment like that over the internet, perhaps even more demented and reality-warping than regular cybersex. Because when you have sex cyber, the arousal and the climax in the scene have physical analogs in real life - inflicting pain in cyber doesn't have that parallel in the real world (and for me it wouldn't work to have k swat her own butt or something - just seems altogether too ridiculous, though I realize we're only talking about sightly varying degrees of ridiculousness here). But I guess at the base of it all for k and I are emotions: the feelings in ourselves and between us, expressed in the imaginative world of the scene.

It felt very real, as everything does with her. I swear the palm of my hand ached and I had to deliberately unclench the muscles of my arm afterwards. And it was a hard thing to do - things got extremely intense and she cried some. It's something that I am convinced needed to be done, though. The D/s is so integrated into every aspect of our relationship now that it was not possible to resolve the situation without involving D/s in some way. And the dynamic is still so new and different to me - there's a sense of finality to the whole thing that I don't think I've ever experienced in a vanilla relationship.

That's not to say that I won't ever think about what happened or that it's a dead issue, but there's a sort of endpoint to refer to now. And in the process a lot of frustrations and guilt and embarassment were released. Purged, even. I feel like we know each other even better, trust each other more than ever, and that our love is the most solid, unassailable, powerful thing. And if it took a serious spanking to get to this place, it was more than worth it.

My k's acquiescence and active submission to her punishment is what made it real. It takes two to make a spanking really mean something, I realized. A "swat team," if you will (if you will keep from groaning, that is).

We chatted and kissed for a good while before the punishment, and had hot D/s lovin for a few hours afterward, and all in all it was quite an amazing day. I know I'm touching her more deeply now, she's more open to my presence that before, and I feel her rushing through my bloodstream and filling my lungs and making my heart swell.

k is mine. Mine, strong, beautiful, smart, and loved.