Thursday, April 20, 2006

"I want you to kneel for me"

I know Irch has already posted about this earlier this week, but me being the big mouth i can be, i have to put my own two cents forward about the subject. My own reaction to the changes we've been going through recently are somewhat similar to His, though from a slightly different perspective.

I've never really understood the pleasure in kneeling, for Master or sub. It's not a very comfortable position to hold for long, and what really would a Master get out of such a thing? It was just something that eluded me, another one of the formal rituals of some D/s relationships that just didn't seem to quite fit for me.

That is of course until Irch, i'll never really understand where the desire came from in the first place, especially considering my general dislike of kneeling. But not long after the collar i would often find my mind wandering to fantasies of kneeling before Him offering myself to Him, kneeling beside Him just resting in His presence, and kneeling next to Him resting my head on His knees feeling His strength and comfort surround me as He stroked my hair. Where did these fantasies come from? However foreign they may have been, though, these fantasies became ever present fairly quickly.


It wasn't until recently that either Irch or i have actually really acted out on these desires. Though now that we have, i have to ask myself why we didn't start doing this sooner. Maybe it's all part of my ever increasing submission to this Man, maybe it's part of my boundless love for Him, or maybe i'm just discovering one more new thing about myself, like i have so often since being with Irch.

Kneeling for Him is an amazing feeling, i had always associated it with a feeling of lowliness and unworthiness, but it's not that at all. Knowing that i am kneeling for my Master is such a wonderful and empowering feeling, i can't even find the right words to describe it. It's so awesome and i think i just really need to work on my vocabulary for situations such as these because nothing that comes to mind can accurately describe the intense, intimate, uplifting feelings that fill me each time i kneel.

Tonight we tried something new, we played on the phone again only it was a bit different this time. Irch told me what to do the entire time, having me respond to questions and change my position to please Him. Throughout the course of the evening, i ended up kneeling for Him, god it was so much more intense to have Him right there with me while i did that. And it was there on my knees that i came to an amazing earth shattering climax just for my Master.

I cannot explain to you, our dear readers, how utterly amazing that was. Not only to follow His commands through each step closer to climax, but to be on my knees when i came for Him, there is nothing better than that.

And so this is how i've come to love and cherish and desire kneeling for my Master. To show Him in a silent act that i give myself up to Him completely, that i belong to Him totally, that i am His forever, that is what kneeling is for me.

3 comments:

Desireous said...

Wow that was a beautiful summation! I'm so happy you wrote that!

Hug
Des

Anonymous said...

Being ordered to kneel (a rare treat) or being "put" on my knees with gentle coercion (usually hair-pulling) is one of the hottest things I've ever known or will know. The first time it happened I knew I was born for it. Nothing puts me in that headspace quicker or more efficiently, and because I am in a relationship where the power-exchange is primarily sexual, the ritual of kneeling is conducive to a smooth, rapid transition.

Irch said...

mmm pulling her down to her knees with firm tugging on fistfuls of hair ... yep, most definitely trying that!