When Brats Attack

So my sexy k posted here a while back about discovering her own bratty tendencies. How she may sometimes act up to get attention or whatever. Well my first reaction to it all was that she was overstating things a bit - reading her own sarcastic and brilliant sense of humor as a less-than-ideal character trait, only because it bumps up against the usual D/s ideas of formality and respect. Our particular relationship has never been that kind, though. Frankly if we couldn't poke fun at D/s in general (and if she couldn't poke fun at me in particular), it would lose a whole lot of meaning for me. I'd never want to suppress her natural wit.

Anyhow, it took me a little while, but I'm now able to detect the subtle differences between when k is being her adorably sarcastic self, and when she's really "bratting out." It's not as obvious as you might think to see it (remember that this is really mostly a text-based relationship, without the visual and auditory signals a Dom might pick up on in real life), and the very subtlety is part of her charm.

You see, it all comes back to this intermingling of D/s "scenes" and daily life, which is still pretty new for both of us - kind of a new space we're exploring.

There have been many times in the past, especially when we have longer stretches of time together, when we've been able to slip imperceptibly from normal banter about whatever into a passionate scene. And those times always feel so good and so right. Now I'm starting to view my k's bratty behavior as one instance of that - a way of "extending backwards" from the scene into the preceding conversation. Especially effective if she's craving a spanking, of course ;) And it's often more than just the build-up right before a real scene too - she may slowly work her way up to full-on ultrabrat mode over the course of a day or two, even.

I don't mean to make it sound like k is just acting out a part either. This is what's quite fascinating about the whole thing - this seems to be a real part of her. Maybe a sort of extension of her usual ironic wit into the realm of D/s, or maybe an aspect of her submissive nature that was hitherto below the surface. Yes, there's a conscious element to it, but that doesn't make it any less a part of her real personality. My k is one complex and marvellous creature, and I love every facet of her.

I also don't mean to make it sounds like we're playing a game or performing a ritual of "k gets bratty, Irch punishes her, passionate sex ensues, everyone sighs contentedly," or anything like that (though yeah it does work like that sometimes, and I ain't complaining heh heh). We've both got enough drama in our lives and have no need to add layers of it to our already-unorthodox relationship. If it does feel like a game sometimes, it's only because it's a way of pushing D/s play out of the "bedroom" and into our normal daily interactions. Easier to try this out in a half-joking kind of setting. My k is learning about boundaries of behavior, pushing against them, feeling out what she can get away with - and she's doing it in the most adorable light-hearted way she can. And it starts as a subconscious thing. Well most of the time, anyway.

So we're growing a lot in D/s together, k and I, and learning about each other and ourselves along the way of course. I'm sure I'll make mistakes as we keep working more strands of D/s into the fabric of our daily lives. and we'll recover from those mistakes and move on. Meanwhile, I'm enjoying every aspect of being her Dom, learning just how and how much she desires my control. In that sense, every little bratty comment or action is another expression of trust and love.