Outs and Ins

Well I figured I'd write a sort of response to k's lovely post. And yes, I realize this blog has been short on graphic sex and/or soul-baring confessions of late. OK, well not just "of late," but pretty much always. What do you people expect for free?!?!

So what k said about us having that city mouse - country mouse thing going on is very true. I had a pretty urban upbringing and love just about everything that comes with big-city life. Well, except maybe what I have to pay in rent. The rest is all good, though. I actually happen to think that if my k found herself suddenly forced to live in someplace like New York or Paris or Tokyo, she'd become a convert to metropolitanism pretty quickly, but maybe that's my wishful thinking lol.

One thing my wonderful woman did not bring up was the fact that this urban/rural difference is really only one of many fairly stark contrasts between us. We have some fundamentally diverging views, I'm pretty sure, on things like politics, religion, and art. Things that are important to me and to her.

I say "I'm pretty sure," because we tend to gloss over such subjects in conversation. Well, maybe not gloss over, but sort of treat delicately anyway. These things have come up more and more often as we've grown more comfortable with each other, but generally we don't think of them as great conversation-starters or anything. We respect each other's views, and kinda steer wide, to make sure nobody's toes get stepped on.

From time to time, I wonder if I'd feel differently about my k in real life because of issues like this, if our relationship would be altered somehow. Such topics would be unavoidable in daily life, whereas in IM (and especially when time together is limited) there's always something else to talk about. But when it comes down to it, I'm confident we'd work things out, for a few reasons:

(1) I have a greater appreciation for diversity of opinion than I used to. Guess it's partly from growing older (and partly from living in diverse urban environments - see above). A decade ago I wouldn't have had the patience or the broad-mindedness to spend long periods of time with people who had opposing viewpoints from my own - let alone eagerly seek out the company of such a person. I can see better from this vantage point how each person's beliefs really are the result of so many factors, and can shift and change so much over time. Of course, I'm still right, and the rest of the world is still wrong, but I'm willing to let them all take the time to learn now...

(2) k and I have been very good at learning from each other and negotiating some difficult waters over time. Bit by bit, we've gotten closer and more intimate, and various barriers that I thought would always remain standing have just crumbled and crashed. There are more to go, and possibly some will always remain there, but I can deal with that too. The point is that we've been able to work out our own language for talking about things, created our own ways of interacting. These are constantly evolving, just as they do in a r/l relationship, but they are good and strong and flexible. (Also, they are sometimes based in D/s power-exchange to some degree, but I'll blog on that another day.)

(3) I just love this girl to within an inch of madness.

So yeah, mostly I find the differences between us a source of excitement and inspiration and opposites-attracting and all that. Being with my k has made me re-think and re-formulate my own viewpoints on things, and some of the best times we spend together are exchanging opinions and ideas. We are easily as intellectually engaged as we are sexually engaged. And that's saying a whole hell of a lot!