etwas langsammer

Glorious k and I are back in daily contact again, after a drought that was far too long. We are enjoying each other's company and reveling in how free and beautiful it feels to have no burdens weighing us down any more.

New anxieties have popped up, however, which are giving us pause and causing us to proceed more slowly now. I absolutely love k and she does me, but we are trying to become a couple again in a more organic way, rather than jumping right into the passion where we left off. This is not easy or painless, but it's necessary. We both want this to be forever, and that means going about things differently. It also means that the D/s is more a form of flirtation and a reminder of our shared past than it is an intrinsic part of our dynamic right now.

We are very slowly "coming out" to friends and family. We are sharing every possible waking moment, from the text message I send to wake her in the morning to the phone call when she's in bed at night. And the part that many of you have been waiting for: barring acts of god, we are meeting face-to-face in about a month. Just a weekend, but hopefully the first of many. I am trying hard to be blase, mature, and clinical about it - "this is just a test to see if we really get along just as well in person, and if it doesn't work out, no big deal." I think anyone who's read our postings here probably knows what a fight it is to maintain that kind of attitude. Anyway, we are mostly pretty giddy (and trepidatious) about the whole thing. We'll keep you informed as plans solidify.

For the moment, it just feels damned good to be back in a landscape with fertile soil and the potential for roads and bridges and maybe even a cottage-for-two.

Oh and this week's German title? Just for fun ... scholarly k is quite fluent in German, whereas I really only know tempo markings and things you might hear in a bad American WWII movie. By happenstance, a tempo marking was appropriate today.