The day of our meeting approaches (only ten days away as I write this - soon we'll be in single digits!), its pace too slow but at least steady. It goes without saying that I'm beyond excited about it. There's a certain near-frantic giddy edge to everything in life lately, and there's a sort of burgeoning potential energy in me that feels as if it could supernova at any moment and transmute me into starlight.
I should be very nervous, and I guess I am, but I find that my nervousness is always about little things. Logistical stuff like what I'll do if my flights are delayed, smaller interpersonal stuff like how I will manage to keep my hands off her body for stretches of five minutes at a time.
We are using this meeting as a sort of shake-down cruise for a future relationship; that is, we aren't considering ourselves to be a "couple" until we meet and see how our interactions mesh in the flesh. This is why the sexual, the D/s-related, and even the romantic are topics we are treading over lightly. (Well, as lightly as we possibly can - we seem to find ways to push our own boundaries remarkably often.) On paper, at least, we are extremely close friends right now and nothing more.
We are investing this meeting with a lot of significance, in other words. Trying to protect our hearts from the possibility of pain in the future if we discover a dealbreaking something about one other during this visit.
But here's the thing: I'm really not worried about that in the least.
I am utterly confident and completely assured. Of course there are unknowns about the future, but to my mind they are more in the tempo and key and texture of how we move forward. The strongly-intertwined counterpoint of our love is rock-solid and doubtless. Yes, I've thought about what my life would be like without her in it - it's a devastating scenario to say the least - but I can't seem to make myself get anxious over it.
Call it cockiness or unearned self-assurance, but in about ten days, I'll be making her Mine again, this time forever.
2 comments:
we met in person 6 months to the day after he replied to my craigslist post. i had a bad picture of him. he had none of me, by his own choice. we were nervous, but also, we knew... by then, we knew.
i was shy when he walked thru the door, held back a bit when he asked for a hug. in a way, the D/s helped, it put us back in familar roles.
and in the end, his walking through the door was just that and nothing more. one more step. because we were already there. and we are there still. best of friends, dom and sub, happy lovers. and a whole lot more.
enjoy each other.
This is such a sweet story and reflection OG. Thank you so much for sharing it, and for continuing to read here.
Exactly one week from the moment I'm writing this, I'll have my arms around k. Needless to say, I'm quivering at the thought.
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