A couple of times recently, my spectacular k has brought up her fantasies about being intimate with another woman. It never fails to evoke a rich melange of emotional reactions in me. I'm not going to sort it all out here today, obviously, but I'm going to start the process by listing and annotating some of the stronger components of the reaction, as I feel it today anyway.1. The overarching feeling is that this is a beautiful part of my sweet k's personality and one of many tantalizing parts of her complex innerworkings of desire. I love this aspect precisely because it is intrinsic to who she is.
2. She belongs to me. Our bond is deep and strong and true, a a fundamental strand in that bond is the exclusivity of our arrangement. Justifiably and unabashedly greedy, I don't want to share her.
3. And yet, her complete sexual and emotional fulfillment is a very important aspiration. Short of major medical procedures, this is a fantasy that I'll never be able to realize for her by myself.
4. Our D/s relationship is the most sublime, the most wondrous, the most soul-expanding experience of my life. The power-exchange is beautiful and instinctual and heady with meaning. Any alteration in the circumstances (even just playing around here and there) is bound to result in changes to the dynamic. This doesn't scare me as much as it just makes me wonder.
5. I would love to be part of my luscious k's exploration of this side of herself. To be present, involved in some way or other, with her first overtly-sexual touch of another woman would be so intense - seeing her learn about herself is always amazing. Knowing more of who she is can only be better.
6. Two women making out = hot!
Anyway, these are some of the thoughts that pop into my head each time the subject comes up. It's not like there is a plan or a destiny here - just the musings of an overanalytical mind. Certainly nothing's going to happen to change the direction we are going when we haven't even met in person yet. Right now, that's the most immediate goal - anything beyond is conjecture.
Before I collared her, irresistibly sexy k used to play with other women in the chatrooms, and several times the two of us would have scenes with other submissive women. That was all back before I fell in love with her, though, and when having D/s scenes online was purely diversion. I find my mind looking from a completely new angle now (though yeah, #6 proves that some of the old mindset remains).
When the time comes, we'll figure out what's right for her, right for us. And no matter what shape that takes, she will always be mine.
1 comment:
Thanks for your comment about my blog, how nice. It's testing my desire to remain anonymous and simply live my life. Although one of the important things i think about it is communicating with other people in the 'lifestyle' or whatever it is. I appreciate meeting people who i can learn from and eventually maybe people will learn from me. It's a nice thought.
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