Friends and Lovers

OK, so I've talked before about how my delectable k and I are friends, like the really good kind that you tell all sorts of stuff to and want to share dumb life details with. I really love that side of our relationship for lots of reasons, number one being that it always feels great to have a close friend, be they in real life or online or whatever. Sharing interests, joking and teasing, enjoying things together - all great stuff and really what life (and human relationships) are all about to a large degree.

Another reason I treasure our friendship is that it forms a sort of background "comfort zone." Both k and I have things going on in our real lives, and in particular she's years younger than me, so still has more of life to explore. So what I'm trying to say: one day it's entirely possible that the sex and D/s side of our relationship might have to stop or get side-tracked or put on pause or something. I'd hate for that to happen, and in fact just thinking about it right now is kind of devastating, to tell you the truth. BUT: I do feel quite certain that, even in such a heartbreaking situation, our friendship is solid and strong and vital enough to endure. I think k is the kind of friend that you keep for life, in other words.

Being friends has also been the gateway to my falling for her too. Yeah, the L-word came up a month or so ago and we've embraced the idea that we love each other. Does it mean something different online and given the fact that we'll most likely never meet in real life? Geez I dunno really. Probably, I guess. But it's hard to argue with the facts that (1) we share so much with each other, (2) I genuinely care about her welfare and emotions and life in general, (3) we're bonded together in that deep way lovers are, (4) life is more colorful and vibrant with her in it, and (5) I feel so damned passionate about her I can't think straight. So alright, maybe we need a different category for online romance, but till then let's just enjoy it. We need more love in the world anyway - why bother about semantics?

The other thing that's really been evolving in our relationship, and one of the most exciting things for me, is the seamless combination of friendship, romantic love, and D/s. When I first collared k, I sort of envisioned that we'd switch from friendly banter to D/s scenes and back again in the same semi-abrupt ways we always had. Over a couple years of knowing each other, a set of verbal signals sort of evolved that bridged the transition from one "state" to the other, so it didn't feel like the flicking of a light-switch or anything. But now, since the collar and the blossoming love and the sharing of more and more of our personal life and time (see previous posts), things have become more blended, and I'm really enjoying it. There's an easy and effortless flow from one "state" to another, and half the time I couldn't say which side of the boundary we're on...

Everything's really coming together into a whole, and now very moment I spend with my k is even more precious and more meaningful, because all three of those categories are present simultaneously, operating in parallel or intertwined or something. Pretty awesome stuff, and it feels to me like things are moving even more in that direction, towards some sort of whole that's no longer made up of individual pieces.

Ain't love grand?