Full Steam Ahead

The time is coming up so soon. Can count the remaining days on one hand now, as beautiful k is fond of pointing out.

I was thinking that it must be boring to read this blog at the moment. Even if I could somehow impart the sense of anticipation and inevitability in an eloquent way, it doesn't make for good diaristic writing. If this were fiction, I'd have subtle foreshadowing, control over an accelerating pace, etc. In short, it would make a better read than my trying to condense days of thoughts and emotions into these posts that tend to repeat themselves. Ah well, that's just how it's going to be for four (FOUR!) more days.

I was looking back over older posts here, paying especial attention to the ones where I talk about our long-distance online relationship, tracking my thoughts about it over time. I expected that my feelings would have changed a lot since those days, now that I'm on the cusp of making a long-held dream come true. But I find myself surprisingly consistent in the way I understand and intuit the connection that sweet k and I share. My older writings aren't so much "justifications" of how our love worked from a distance, so much as they were descriptions and emotional outpourings about it all (though sometimes some anxiety peeks through, it's true). And nothing has changed in that light. I believe all the same things I used to believe, and I wouldn't modify anything that I've said.

I consider this meeting to be the next step in something that's been ongoing. It will surely be a sea change, but it will not be a metamorphosis. The core of who we are together, the transcendent beauty of that, the love that glows across the miles, remains.