So I wrote about this briefly once before, but felt it was time to delve in a little more deeply. Before I get into this, let me be perfectly clear: this is based on completely unscientific observation, merely my limited experience online. I'm not part of any "real-life" BDSM community, so what I've seen is a narrow view. And I know there are a million exceptions to the rule, so please don't think I'm trying to cover everyone with the same blanket here. But still...The great majority of D/s-interested Americans that I've met online have also expressed conservative political views. (The opposite seems generally the case for Europeans and others, but let's leave that aside for the moment...) This goes for the Doms as well as the subs, and - so far as I can tell online - doesn't correspond to the usual ethnicity/gender/class/culture/geography breakdowns I usually associate with people's place on the political spectrum.
On its face, I suppose this seems a "duh" observation. In the US at least, conservatives use phrases like "law and order," "family values," "three strikes and you're out," "personal responsibility," etc., to promote a (dare I say Confucian?) view of society based on structure and rules, wherein authority is generally trusted, and there are predictable consequences for actions. In some circles, there is a fundamentalist-Christian twist that takes its societal model from certain Old Testament passages. I'm oversimplifying here, of course, but the point is that I think there is a correlation between the way many of these conservative D/s folks see the greater workings of society, and the way they see interpersonal relationships.
My point here is not to stir up political debate of one kind or another, or to take a scalpel and pick apart my broad definitions. My point is to ask anyone reading what this is all about.
I am on the radical-liberal end of the political spectrum on 99% of issues. Am I some kind of hypocrite for embracing this wonderful D/s with k? I certainly don't think the relationship we have is "better" or "more natural" than anyone else's, and I don't feel any cognitive dissonance about how I relate to her vs. how I relate to the world as a political animal.
As a matter of fact, the conservative views espoused by my k have given me pause on more than one occasion. If she were in this D/s relationship with me because this is the "proper" way for men and women to interact, or because of any reason beyond her own desire and personal choice, it would lose a whole lot of meaning for me. If she didn't feel free to choose submission, and in particular to choose submission to me, I'd have to rethink the whole thing. Luckily, I am confident that this isn't the case, but there were times in the past that I wasn't so sure.
So what do you all think?
4 comments:
In some ways I have typical "conservative" values but I'm immensely liberal when voting and as my political views go. I believe that families are better off with two adults, and I think it's great if one of them can stay at home with the kids. I'm comfortable with that being me (The female) in the relationship, but I think that would be awful for other people. It comes down to personal beliefs and preferences.
I think more people in BDSM believe in the freedom to live their lives without government interference, which from my point of view, in America, tends to align with the more liberal parties. But ultimately I don't think that there is a wide range, and most of the dominants that I've been with are decidedly moderate, generally hating the Bush administration but also seeing the Democratic options in the same poor light.
Whew! Got a bit ranty there :)
oh please, that ain't even half a rant! your thoughtful comments are most welcome.
Not having ever participated in any BDSM communities, my unscientific sample may be very skewed. I wonder now if it's just online-D/s people who are trying to act out a political fantasy in sexual-textual terms?
As a community, the participants into the D/s lifestyle will be from every and all politic sides... Like in every community, there is not ONE way to be and to think... Some will be very traditional, others will be free minded ... The fact that this community isn't restrained in one location as a village or a town and have no guru to follow are probably keeping it away from falling into some dogma... and this is the best thing... ;-)
Thank you searabbit, for your comment. I hope that what you and tulsa say are true, because that's the way I'd like this community to be, ideally.
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