The Magic of the Voice

OK so in the last post, I talked about text messaging. k and I have always had a text-based relationship for the most part. We're both really into the power of the written word and the stunning ways that the words on a page (or on the screen) can come to life and actually cause physical reactions in the body of the reader. Pretty amazing stuff, if you think about it.

So, I've used the webcam with her a few times, with varying results, and spoken on the mic several times. I've also sent her audio files quite a bit. This "multimedia" type stuff was all one way, from me to her, but I've never minded that in the least. She's shy about showing herself or letting me hear her, no problem, I totally understand that and I'd never force her into doing anything that made her uncomfortable in a way that would strain the friendship side of things. (I have no problems making her uncomfortable as part of a scene, mind you... that's a whole different thing)

So a couple of months back, she sent me a scratchy lo-fi audio file of her voice reading a couple things, and of course I just ate it up, listened to it over and over like the obsessive freak I sometimes am. She's really got a radiant golden tone in her voice, very musical and open, hint of a drawl, and when she's smiling as she speaks it's like sunlight bursting through the sound. Naturally, she got a lot of positive feedback from me.

Then came the collar, and the text messaging that I talked about last time. She gave me her phone number so we could text back and forth. I asked her if she minded me leaving her a voice mail on there once in a while, and she said sure, so I did that. Then one day, out of the blue, she left me a voice message on the yahoo messenger. Now, unlike the sound file she had sent me before, this was a personal message directed right at me, right from her, in her own words and her own voice, little gaps and pauses and verbal tics and all. I don't think I've ever heard anything sexier. Her voice just flowed like water rippling over smooth stones. I listened to it on my headphones and imagined her next to me, speaking right into my ear.

And now she's left me I think a total of 3 voicemails on my cell phone. I still love her emails and the text messages of course, and I still consider that to be our main conduit of communication. But wow her voice just makes me instantly tighten and harden and my lips widen into a smile and my chest glow warm. Part of it is that I know she's really doing it just because I've told her how much I like it, overcoming her natural shyness just for me.

And I feel more connected to the rhythms of her by listening to her speech. It's actually pretty surprising how close the cadence and meter of her speech are to the way she types in IM. Maybe that's the same for everyone, I don't know. Being able to hear her breathe, pause while thinking, the rise and fall of her voice, its thickness in the early morning and its clarity in the afternoon: I feel so very intimate with her on a new level.

So there are some things we haven't done with our voices yet. I've left her some somewhat steamy messages, but nothing truly obscene like what I'd type to her. She hasn't yet sent me anything racy. And we've never actually had a spoken conversation to each other - either on the phone or in IM through the computer. (Well, one time way back when before I'd ever heard her voice, I talked a little while she typed, but that's just awkward and doesn't work too well.) In any case, I'm not in any rush to do either of these things, though of course my mind races forward in time and tries to imagine what it will be like. I'm actually quite perfectly content as things are - it's pretty magical as it is, and I'm kinda riding a wave of excitement about it all the time. As we get used to this new vocal side of things, I'm pretty sure we'll get to all that, but it can be at some vague undefined point in the future.

k is one incredible woman, and each time I hear her voice I feel the strength and joy and brilliance in her. Can't ask for much more than that!