So as you all know, Irch asked me to do a little blog post on His mystery Christmas gift. But first we have to reveal the mystery gift.
It was ...*pause for dramatic effect*... a collar!
Irch and i have never really done the whole collar thing, well not until several months ago when He sent me a few necklaces He'd made and i would wear one as sort of a makeshift collar. The one i opened at midnight on Christmas eve, though, this is one that i wear every day now. It is simply His initial on a chain, though the fun part is my own initial is worked into His, so it's perfect for us.
It's not anything fancy, or anything that is obviously a collar. But to me it is so much more than just a necklace or a collar or anything i could even think to describe it. I haven't yet been able to put into words, and i doubt i will now, just how much i love wearing His collar. I mean yes, i've done that since i first became His, but now to have an actual physical representation of what we've had for 16 months now, it's just so intense. To actually feel it pressing against my skin, to know that it is always there, that His lips touched this thing which rests against my chest every day. It's just more than i could have hoped for.
I love holding it, and playing with it during my day. It's a source of comfort for me when things get particularly frustrating at work or anytime during the day. I can just breath and feel Him there with me, actually feel the weight of His strength, and i am reminded that i'm never alone. I must have been a really good girl this past year, because really it's the best.
There is so much more emotion and love wrapped up in wearing His collar, but i am having trouble finding the right words to describe it, how can you put so much into just a few words. I am just so many things to Irch, but wearing His collar makes clear the most important: i am His slave. I doubt i could ever find enough or the right words to tell you all just how much i love and am loved by my wonderful Irch, and what being His really means, but for now just know it is the most amazing and beautiful life changing thing i have ever experienced.
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2 comments:
To those who don't understand, no explanation is possible. To those who do understand, no explanation is necessary...
I remember when Master first placed His collar around my neck, the emotions it evoked and, truly, it seemed as if I tried to express it in words, it would somehow tarnish the specialness of it. It was (and is!) sacred. It bore meaning specific to *us* and was in that way an extension of our relationship and something to be treasured quietly lest anyone take one tiny fraction of its import away.
What a wonderful gift! I'm so happy for both of you :)
Hi k!
That is so wonderful! i could feel the glee and cheer as your typed this! How truly fulfilled you must have felt receiving and complete you must have been latching it that first time! i can see you glowing from here!
And as Taylor says, to those who understand, no explanation is necessary! i am so happy for the both of you!!
DL's toy
:o)
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